A Life Interrupted: Hannah's Story

As moms, we spend our lives trying to protect our children, keeping them safely out of harm's way. But what happens when an illness comes into your child's life and promises to never leave her side? How do you, as a mom, learn to face this unwelcome guest and hold it all together, when all you really want to do is fall apart? The Mayo Clinic describes Type 1 Diabetes in children as ‘a condition in which your child's pancreas no longer produces the insulin your child needs to survive, and you'll need to replace the missing insulin’ or your child will die. Today we’re sharing the story of a little girl diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Read on to take a glimpse inside the heart and mind of Tara Yaravitz as she discovered her daughter’s condition and knew in an instant that her family’s lives would change forever. Day 1 | February 11, 2014The day that began and ended like so many others. We went about our daily routines having no idea that this would be our last day of normalcy. Day 2 | February 12, 2014A day that will forever remain embedded in my brain. My daughter, Hannah, age 7, awoke not feeling so well. I assumed the flu had hit us and took the day off of work to tend to my little patient. Normally a highly energetic child, she had a fever and was pretty lethargic. As a nurse, I generally wait out a fever and see how she does, but for some reason, today, things felt different. I reflected on the past few days and recalled her seeming more sluggish than usual, even sleeping more. I followed my 'mother’s intuition' and called the pediatrician. We have a strong family history of autoimmune illness on my side of the family. I have lupus and there is a high rate of celiac disease, fibromyalgia, and other ailments in our lineage. The doctor agreed something was off and ordered several rounds of blood tests. My already nervous daughter had never had blood drawn and was terrified of needles.  As expected, upon hearing the news she began crying and begging me not to take her to the lab. What’s a mom to do? Bribery, of course. “How about we go for a milkshake as soon as you're done?” was enough to get her to walk into the facility. Score! Or was it? Little did I know, that was one of the worst things I could have given her that day. 6:00 pmThe phone rang. The caller ID warned me that it was the pediatrician calling back, and my heart immediately began racing. Every possible scenario raced through my mind in the 2 seconds it took for me to answer that call. And then came the news that would forever change our family. The doctor had informed me that Hannah’s blood sugar was 950 and she was officially diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic.  And just like that my daughter’s pancreas was pronounced dead. This was not about diet, exercise, or lifestyle choices. None of those factors played a role. Her body is not capable of producing insulin, which we need to survive. Therefore, from today on, we must give her insulin to keep her alive.I think at that moment my body went into shock. With all of the scenarios I had gone over, Type 1 Diabetes had never been considered an option. We had no family history of diabetes. And she was a healthy kid! How could this have happened? We were told to pack a bag and get to the local children’s hospital as soon as we could. They had already admitted her and would be there waiting for us. As much as I wanted to be strong, I was having trouble containing my emotions. I was a mess and I was scared for her. As I sat there with her and gathered her things, time seemed to stand still. Hannah sat on her bed with dozens of questions and the look of confusion and fear on her face. It was the first time in her little life that I could not fix things, and I felt completely and utterly helpless. The ride to the hospital was the longest 20 minutes of my life. We called my husband’s parents and a few of our close friends and just asked them to pray for us. We did not know what the road ahead of us would look like. We spent a few hours in the pediatric Emergency Department getting settled in and more tests and IVs. My once energetic, happy little girl seemed listless and vacant. It was clear that on top of her emotional pain, her body was still feeling awful. As I sat there and looked at my child, now pale and withdrawn, the 'mother guilt' settled in. Looking back, she had lost a ton of weight and had been so tired.  How did I -her own mother and a professionally trained medical specialist- not see this coming? I looked over at my husband Martin, and he- the most stoic of the bunch- was now himself in tears. Day 3 | February 13, 2014They switched Hannah from an IV insulin drip to insulin injections. The first shot was administered into my daughter's frail arm, as my husband and I held her down. She would need to have a minimum of 4 shots a day. I couldn’t help but think about how we were going to possibly do this long term. The next few days were long and agonizing, bringing new waves of fear and anxiety. In my work I’ve seen my share of illness and despair, but when it’s your own child, things are so very, very different! Day 4 | Valentine’s DayWe were finally discharged and able to take our daughter home. The day was a mix of  relief and fear for the days ahead. We had a new normal. Life for us now involved checking blood sugars a minimum of 10 times a day, 4-6 insulin injections a day, getting up 2-4 times a night to check her blood sugar, and counting carbohydrates with every single bite that enters her mouth. The idea of sending her back to school alone with a potentially life threatening condition was almost more than I could bear. I contacted her teachers, the administration, and the school nurse to be sure we were all on the same page. Hannah was the only child in a school of nearly 500 children with this affliction. It had to be right. I want everyone to understand the seriousness and how to know the warning signs in their own children. I contacted the local branch of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) and had them come in to do a presentation for the entire school. I wanted to share information about the disease with all the children and let them know that while things with Hannah were different now, she was still very much the same! I also wanted to tell them how to recognize danger signs and how they could help if they saw something was off. TodayIt’s been a little over a year since her diagnosis. We have faced lots of challenges and grown so much as a family. We tackle each day at a time. Each hour at a time. Our brave girl is now on an insulin pump which makes life so much easier. She is also on a continuous glucose monitor which monitors her blood sugar every 5 minutes and alerts us in the event she goes low or high. It gives us peace of mind. Nothing can prepare you for the sort of emotional issues that arise when your child is diagnosed with a potentially deadly illness. Unless you have Type 1 Diabetes there’s no way you can understand what it’s like to have it. Even I, as her mother, have no clue what she goes through both emotionally and physically on a daily basis. She hides her feelings well during the day but sometimes, once the excitement of the day’s activities have subsided, she breaks down. This will be a constant battle as she grows and learns. We’ve spent endless nights comforting her as she cries in frustration wondering what she did to deserve this. Nothing, Hannah. Nothing at all. You’re a warrior and were chosen to help educate kids on understanding what it’s like to , to make them appreciate their health, and to show them how to be strong in the face of adversity. This is such a heavy burden to carry as a young child. We still have our moments, even more than a year later, and I don’t expect that to change- even as she grows into an adult. Your baby is always your baby, after all. Helping her cope and still be a normal healthy kid is our long term goal. Through it all, we have been incredibly blessed by the support our family, friend and community. We have seen the good in people and how much love there is and that gives us hope for the future. If your child has Type 1 Diabetes and you’d like to reach out, please feel free to email me. We’re all in this together and I would love to support a fellow family who is struggling. If you’d like to learn more about the JDRF, visit their website at jdrf.org. In the comments, we'd love it if you'd leave a note of encouragement for Hannah. She promises to read them all.