Life Beyond the Edge of Your Comfort Zone: 4 keys for adapting to change
Like the wind and the tides, energy is shifting and moving all of the time. The sun rotates, planets spin, stars are being born and dying as the Universe itself hurls through space at incomprehensible speeds. At a micro level, we're constantly shifting and changing too. We're generating new cells every day. Various parts of our body are being created anew as other parts die off and are replaced. You are constantly in a state of shifting and moving to something new. You can't escape it. So, if change is such a constant in life, then why are we so uncomfortable with it? In my work with hundreds of professionals, there is one commonality that keeps good people frozen. What is it?It's a "fear of change". It’s the big hairy elephant in the room that most people want to avoid. There is an epidemic of fear around "new," "different" and "the unknown". I believe we're afraid of it because all of this change happens beyond the edge of our comfort zone. Beyond what we perceive to be the place of "the known," "the familiar," "the safe". But the truth is, if we weren't changing, we'd be dead. I see this all the time in my work with clients (and in myself!), change can be scary. The "Unknown" is... well, unknown!And, it takes us beyond the edge of where we can control things and feel "safe." And as a busy woman, I know you too are always dodging and weaving with the constant barrage of changes that are always coming at you from left, right, and center. This can easily push you well beyond the edge of your comfort zone, leaving you feeling anxious, stressed out, and even overwhelmed. So how do you navigate the changes without saying yes to too much and overloading your circuits?
Here are 4 keys to maintaining your sanity while adapting to change.
Key #1: Notice the conversation you're having with yourself about the change.
- What about it scares you?
- What makes you nervous?
Write those thoughts down and ask yourself: "Do I really believe that (thought) is actually going to happen?" If yes, then what steps can I take to shift the outcome in a positive way? If no, then smile knowing that you were able to see through the thin veil of your fear to the truth. When you’re able to do this, you build the muscle of knowing that you’re stronger than your fears and can move forward with greater confidence.
Key #2: Identify What’s most important to you.
In other words, what are the underlying drivers of your day-to-day decisions? These core values consciously and unconsciously guide you on which way to zig or zag on any given day. Think of them as a compass, helping to guide you along your path. Directing you to see what you need to say Yes to, and No to, in order to move forward in a good way and establish your boundaries for success. Generally, if a change is in alignment with your values, it will feel “right,” with perhaps some nervous excitement tossed in versus stirring up more anxiety. Note: if you’re making a big change, it most likely is going to feel uncomfortable in your body. This is when you need to discern between a “growing pain” kind of uncomfortable or a “this isn’t really the right path for me to take” kind of uncomfortable. The more in-tune you are with yourself and your values, the more you’ll know the difference between the two different kinds of uncomfortable and be able to discern which choice is the best one for you to take. If you’re not sure what your core values are, here is my Values Assessment tool to help get you started.
Key # 3: Listen to your body and intuition
When change is afoot, your fears can raise their big ugly heads of doubt, worry, and trepidation (just to name a few). During times of change, it’s important to tune in to what your body and intuition are trying to tell you. Is it fear or that quiet inner voice whispering in your ear? When you notice that fear is taking over your thinking and spinning you up into a frothy cup of anxiety, then it’s time to pause, notice, and breathe. Pause, and check in with yourself. What’s going on in your body? Is that fear you’re feeling or your intuition alerting you to something you need to be aware of? Notice, where are you feeling the fear in your body? What shape or color is it? How big is it? When you can identify the fear more clearly, it’s much easier to take back control over it and deal with it effectively. Breathe. Fear is just an emotion and emotion is just energy. You can breathe that energy right out of your body and into a calmer state of being. You see change often makes us feel vulnerable, which can feel really unnerving and scary. Truth is, vulnerability is actually an act of courage and is the birthplace of compassion and creativity. So when you can notice the fear and move forward anyways, then you’ve won. Your body has so much more wisdom than we give it credit for! The more tuned into your inner wisdom you are, the easier the journey becomes.
Secret #4: Get grounded
We spend most of our days operating from the head up. When fear of change is trying to take over, then shifting your attention from your head back down into your body is key. Find your feet and breath deeply as you tune into to all the parts of your body, mind, and spirit. By developing your own daily practice for turning inward, finding your center and connecting with spirit, you can navigate the unexpected changes with greater calm and presence, while expanding the edges of your comfort zone to a new "normal". Bottom line: Change is always going to happen. How you deal with it, is up to you. Here’s to going with the flow~Michele